I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Oh god it's open bar.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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