is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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