He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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