you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
