she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
