I think im going to throw up on grandma
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
