I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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