I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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