If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
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I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
They have beer where we have blood.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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