You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
