and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize