Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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