So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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