dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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