That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
