good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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