ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
