at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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