Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
