was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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