The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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