You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
