In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
is that a dick in a sweater?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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