yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
