So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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