She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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