I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
