Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
