you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
