I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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