And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
