help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
