They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
