So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
