Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
someone owes me an orgasm
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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