I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my shit smells like andre
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
