i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
