I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Did you pee in the oven last night??
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
