Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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