Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
