I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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