Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize