Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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