no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
