i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I don't think brook has ever known best
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
