haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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