you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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