I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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