just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
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How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
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We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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