the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
