Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just blew my weed a kiss
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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