you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
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people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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