youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
