Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
