they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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