honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
