i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
